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| Jacques-Louis David, Mars desarme par Venus. |
The Top Ten Commandments for Authors.
Thou shalt not have any other Gods
before the New York Times Bestseller List.
Thou
shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is
in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under
the earth, that is to say, that thou shalt not write fan fiction.
Thou
shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God, namely and to wit, ‘publication,’
in pure and unadulterated vanity.
Remember
the Sabbath day, to keep it wholly available for thy craft.
Honour thy father and mother by
adopting a pen-name; for-crying-out-loud.
Thou shalt not kill thy critics.
Thou shalt not commit adultery with the
publisher’s wife or harlot.
Thou shalt not steal story ideas unless
they are, like, totally excellent.
Thou shalt not bear false or true witness
against thy fellow authors.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbouring
author’s wife, husband, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, nieces and nephews, friends,
relatives or acquaintances, nor their pets or domesticated animals, and also nor
their literary success even if you’re a better writer and they’re just a knucklehead.