Mr. Robot.

by Louis Bertrand Shalako

c2010

All Rights Reserved

I, robot
Don’t have the capacity
To dream about tomorrow
But I never spell a word wrong
Fueled up, brains all loaded
With everything that’s passed
And I have no place to go
I can never die
As long as the batteries last

Here I come
Here I come
Here I come

I have never speculated
As to where I came from
Did I spring from the dust?
Was I created?
I’ve never cared. I’ve never asked.
Simply because it’s easier
In the Good Lord I trust

Here I come
Here I come
Here I come

Cryogenic heart, skin a polished silver
One thing I am glad of
For this I thank my builder
I can never rust.
And in my own self-assumptions;
I place my deepest trust
I, robot; am happy within myself.

Here I come
Here I come
Here I come…

Editor's Note;

This poem originally appeared in 'Twisted Tongue Magazine,' #16, UK.

Wiener. Digital watercolour.

Untitled. Preliminary work.

Sales Trends.

by Louis Bertrand Shalako

c2010

All Rights Reserved


Right now my best selling title is, 'Heaven Is Too Far Away,' despite a mediocre cover. The subject matter involves the hunt for the Red Baron, and is clearly labeled 'comedy,' and 'adult content.'

The second best seller, is 'The Case of the Curious Killers,' which is an accessible sci-fi parody and the cover is decent.

Third place goes to 'The Paranoid Cat and other tales,' and that's probably due to a number of factors. One, it's a catchy title, two, it's a cat, three, it has a humourous sound...and it is short stories as opposed to a 100,000-word novel.

The dog of the group, my sentimental favourite, and pretty predictable as the cover is quite forbidding, is of course, 'Core Values,' a wonderful title that scares the crap out of people. Even when reading horror, I think people prefer to escape from reality rather than confront a whole bunch of social issues. It's as funny as the others, but you have to work at it a little more...that one starts off kind of slow and very bleak.

It was a dumb decision to sacrifice commercial considerations for the sake of artistic purity. This may seem nuts, but it is the language, rather than any other material in the books that makes them 'adult content.'

Other than that it's learn as we go around here. We just uploaded our third revision of 'The Case of the Curious Killers,' (the paperback,) in about a week. But to continuously improve the product is one advantage of my system.

That swearing was a serious mistake for a number of reasons. I'm basically just too lazy to fix it. These books will find their audience, of that I am sure. The subsequent books have either less swearing or none.

Price Breakdown: POD v. Bookstore.

by Louis Bertrand Shalako

c2010

All Rights Reserved

This is an editorial opinion.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a bookstore and took a look at current prices in Canada. One book was written by an fb friend, a professional and well-known writer. It was going for $18.99. With 13 % Harmonized Sales Tax, (split between federal and provincial gov'ts for my overseas feebs,) that works out to $2.47 for the tax and a total of $21.46, plus time spent and the gas you burned, and don't forget car insurance and legal stuff like that. You can either drag the kids along or pay for a sitter.

My book lists for $13.49 on Lulu.com, and to ship it by snail mail will cost $6.99 (FOB my own home,) for a total of about $20.50. You will need cable or wireless and to pay for the internet on a monthly basis. The book will take ten days to two weeks to arrive in the customer's mailbox. All it takes is a few clicks and your account number, and yes, the kids may be screaming in the background.

There is such a thing as a coupon code, and I need to learn up on that. Conceivably, people could get a small discount with the use of the coupon. It's a matter of pasting the code into a field when they go to checkout.

The price point is in my favour. The challenge is to get the word out about what a great writer I am, and then of course live up to that when someone actually buys a book for the first time. Clear descriptions and 'reasonable claims' for the book and the writer would seem to be in order.

At the risk of cutting down my own book, which I am about to do, I am still working on a better cover. A different size would bring down the price, e.g. 5x8" or 6x9", etc.

I could take what I have now, make a pdf and zip it over to a local printer, and let them worry about a one-piece cover.

Other sources whom I consider credible indicate this might cost 'x-dollars.'

If anyone complains about the price, I simply point them in the direction of my e-books, which are all over the place, and some of them are free.

What is really interesting to consider, is how much a 'Canadian-published' book would cost in a bookstore--the author I spoke of is an American. But Canadian sci-fi books were going from about $8.99 up to $9.99 and $12.99, and I saw one for $12.58.

But those books are clearly subsidized to the tune of $60 million a year to the publishing industry alone. The logging industry, which includes the pulp and paper industry, is subsidized in any number of ways as well. Another question: how many of Canada's 1500 publishers actually get a piece of the pie, or is it swallowed up by a few big houses, and do a few smaller houses get a few crumbs and keep mum about it?

Rather than rock the boat?

If they were unsubsidized, how much would the suggested retail price of their books actually be?

For an opposing opinion, see the Brantford Expositor's recent editorial, entitled, 'Canada's Publishing Industry Needs a Leg Up."

I see it as a kind of corporate welfare.

Update: See new cover at upper right.

Spring is Just Around the Corner.

The City of God.

The City of God.